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The sunken grave would fade away, probably in my lifetime. If I could avoid killer zombies for a few years. And vampires. And gun-toting humans. Oh, h...more

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Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.

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What do you do with a master vampire that won't leave you alone? Good question. Unfortunately, what I needed was a good answer.

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The tears were back, stinging just behind my eyes. There was blood all over my penguins. I didn't give a damn about the walls and carpet. They could b...more

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I am not a morning person.

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To gain your heart's desire you have to lose some part of your old life, your old self. To do that you have to have courage; without it, you can't mak...more

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Only love of a good woman will make a man question every choice, every action. Only love makes a warrior hesitate for fear that his lady will find him...more

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Patience is a virtue, but there comes a moment when you must stop being patient and take the day by the throat and shake it. If it fights back; fine. ...more

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I sounded like Horton the Elephant. "A person is a person no matter how small." What the hell was I doing standing in the middle of a cave, in the dar...more

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I shook my head. "I'm good, Nicky helped."Nicky looked at Edward. "She's having one of those what-if-killing-feels-really-good, doesn't-that-make-me-a...more

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That's what underwear is for, girls, so if an emergency happens you only show your cookies to the people you love.

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One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs i...more

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There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles.

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I worry that when you start quoting Machiavelli to justify your actions, you have ceased to be one of the good guys.

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He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.