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When I say I must write, I don't mean I must publish. There is a great difference. the important thing is the chaotic form given to my chaotic experie...more

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I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.

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It is as if my life were magically run by two electric currents: joyous positive and despairing negative - whichever is running at the moment dominate...more

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I have stitched life into me like a rare organ

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Life was not to be sitting in hot amorphic leisure in my backyard idly writing or not writing, as the spirit moved me. It was, instead, running madly,...more

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But life is long. And it is the long run that balances the short flare of interest and passion.

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My mother had taught shorthand and typing to support us since my father died, and secretly she hated it and hated him for dying and leaving no money b...more

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I saw the years of my life spaced along a road in the form of telephone poles threaded together by wires. I counted one, two, three... nineteen teleph...more

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The reason why I hadn't washed my clothes or my hair was because it seemed so silly.I saw the days of the year stretching ahead like a series of brigh...more

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But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defensless that I couldn't do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn'...more

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Oh, something is there, waiting for me. Perhaps someday the revelation will burst in upon me and I will see the other side of this monumental grotesqu...more

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I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills ...more

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I wonder why I don't go to bed and go to sleep. But then it would be tomorrow, so I decide that no matter how tired, no matter how incoherent I am, I ...more

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So much working, reading, thinking, living to do! A lifetime is not long enough.

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There are times when a feeling of expectancy comes to me, as if something is there, beneath the surface of my understanding, waiting for me to grasp i...more