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On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

~ David Sedaris ~

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On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot...

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The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with ...