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Conceited little mega-puppy.

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We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

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One moment I was sitting in your ship feeling very depressed, and the next moment I was standing here feeling utterly miserable. An Improbability Fiel...more

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All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of t...more

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What do you consider the most interesting man-made structure in the galaxy?The dam they are building at the Three Gorges on the Yangtse. Though perhap...more

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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect...more

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Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe.

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I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

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Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service.Shut up.Thank you.Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy.Hop...more

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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

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What's up?" [asked Ford.]"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there.

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Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to.

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The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupi...more

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He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer