"Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!

And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality.
And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World W...
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