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The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that...more

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I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr.

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Nerd life is just so much better than regular life.

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What a slut time is. She screws with everybody.

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Harry Potter isn’t real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only throu...more

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We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the his...more

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Daddy is trying really fugging hard to think of a not-terrifying reason why you'd wake Daddy up in the middle of the night to ask that fugging questio...more

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There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis.This was not one o...more

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We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the his...more

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She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.

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They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

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It's not because I want to make out with her."Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical br...more

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The pigs can't stop the fox; I'm too quick,' Takumi said to himself. "I can rhyme while I run; I'm that slick.

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Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drun...more

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AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!' he screamed.'So that's Sara,' I said.'Yes.''She seems nice.