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I'm sorry I have issues with my boyfriend doing other men. I'm sorry I have issues with me doing other men. Why was I always being made to feel guilty...more

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One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs i...more

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There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles.

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He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.

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Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.

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I don't have a master. I'm not sure if I have an equal.

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I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone withou...more

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Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

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Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.

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He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop.

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I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. 'Just please tell me they don't have a dog and a picket...more

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You can't kill us all, human.' He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line?

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I sat on the bed. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't slick and sophisticated enough for this. What do you say to boyfriend A when he finds you nake...more