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No good deed goes unpunished.

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The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

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I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

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She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.

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I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

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The worst of it is that I am perpetually being punished for nothing; this governor loves to punish, and he punishes by taking my books away from me. I...more

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I have nothing to declare except my genius.

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The English novels are the only relaxation of the intellectually unemployed. But one should not be too severe on them. They show a want of knowledge t...more

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In old days books were written by men of letters and read by the public. Nowadays books are written by the public and read by nobody.

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I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

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With slouch and swing around the ringWe trod the Fools’ Parade!We did not care: we knew we wereThe Devils’ Own Brigade:And shaven head and feet of lea...more

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There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

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One should always be in love. That's the reason one should never marry.

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If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.

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The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.