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How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a da...more

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Knock! knock!who's there?me!me who?that's right?what's right?meehoo!that's what I want to know!what's what you want to know?me who?yes, exactly!exactl...more

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True storyThis morning I jumped on my horseAnd went for a ride,And some wild outlaws chased meAnd shot me in the side.So I crawled into a wildcats cav...more

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The baby batScreamed out in fright,'Turn on the dark,I'm afraid of the light.

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If you are a dreamer, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin; come in! Come in!

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She had blue skin. And so did he. He kept it hid, And so did she. They searched for blue Their whole life through, Then passed right by - And never kn...more

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One sister for sale,One sister for sale,One crying and spying young sister for saleI'm really not kidding so who'll start the biddingDo I hear a dolla...more

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Ourchestra:So you haven't got a drum, just beat your belly.So I haven't got a horn-I'll play my nose.So we haven't any cymbals-We'll just slap our han...more

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The Little Boy and the Old ManSaid the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."Said the old man, "I do that too."The little boy whispered, "I wet my p...more

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I cannot go to school today"Said little Peggy Ann McKay."I have the measles and the mumps,A gash, a rash and purple bumps.My mouth is wet, my throat i...more

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Larry’s such a liar---He tells outrageous lies.He says he’s ninety-nine years oldInstead of only five.He says he lives up on the moon,He says that he ...more

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Now I lay me down to sleep,I pray the Lord my soul to keep,And if I die before I wake,I pray the Lord my toys will break.So none of the other kids can...more

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I've discovered a way to stay friends forever - There's really nothing to it. I simply tell you what to doAnd you do it!

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If we meet and I say, "Hi,"That's a salutation.If you ask me how I feel,That's a consideration.If we stop and talk awhile,That's a conversation.If we ...more

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I'd rather play tennis than go to the dentist. I'd rather play soccer than go to the doctor.I'd rather play Hurk than go to work.Hurk? Hurk? What's Hu...more