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Alice! You know I love you like a sister!""Words." she growled.

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You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!

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Life sucks, and then you die...

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Children in the abstract, had never appealed to me. They seemed to be loud creatures, often dripping some form of goo.

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Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother,Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up'.

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I know - I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed."Why don't you just tell me who wins?" Edwa...more

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How could you fall in love with a three inch worm?

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Um," Doc said in a mild voice, "medically speaking, I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition.""But I feel better," Jared answere...more

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In Gym, the kids on my team learned not to pass me the ball and to step quickly in front of me if the other team tried to take advantage of my weaknes...more

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I am not really breaking any rules. Charlie said I could never take another step through the door again... I came in through the window... Still, the ...more