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That's not water. That's socialism juice. We should bomb Lake Erie.

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Every day in America is a day with a shooting.

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Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that.

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I'm not a Christian, but I have read his book.

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And, corny as it may sound, I do cherish the bond between me and the audience, the minority that follows my stuff and always makes me glad it's us aga...more

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New Rule: You don't have to teach both sides of a debate if one side is a load of crap. President Bush recently suggested that public schools should t...more