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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'...more

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There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say "Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and brin...more