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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And t...more

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You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can...more

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You know what these “God Bless America” people oughta do? They oughta check with that Jesus fellow they’re so crazy about. They’re always talking abou...more

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Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation.

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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no ...more

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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

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Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and ...more

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They’re not pro-life. You know what they are? They’re anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don’t like them. They don’t like women. They bel...more

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Life is sacred"? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death! Has been for thousands of yea...more

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Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. We...more

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I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percen...more

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Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners....more

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I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interes...more

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Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

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And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will B...more