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There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the...more

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Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.

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A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone somewhere may be having a good time.

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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almo...more

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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

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Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

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Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

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The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is saf...more

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Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

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We are, in fact, a nation of evangelists; every third American devotes himself to improving and lifting up his fellow-citizens, usually by force; the ...more

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The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

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If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder.

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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.