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Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.

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Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

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Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners

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Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

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Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights...more

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I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

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She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes...more

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the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.

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You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?''Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was going to have to explain that one for a lot longer.

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Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

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The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the ...more

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Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

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History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wal...more