Jasper Fforde Quotes

I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite...

The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts--and let's face it, I am considered som...

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is...

Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.

Perhaps it was as well that she had been unconscious for four weeks. She had missed the aftermath, t...

Outside Styx's apartment was not the first time Rochester and I had met, or would it be the last. We...

I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

People don’t change just because you know more about them.

Prejudice is a product of ignorance that hides behind barriers of tradition.

PDR: Persons of Dubious Reality; refugees from the collective consciousness. Uninvited visitors who ...

Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.

Love and magic are like oil and water--they just don't mix.

You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a cen...

That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.

But that was what research and development were like. Full of semi-triumphs and perplexing unforesee...

Pretty?' I said, swivelling in the driver's seat to face him, 'you want to ask me out because I'm pr...

magic swirls about us like an invisible fog of energy that can be tapped by those gifted enough, usi...

I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecti...

Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lo...

After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the re...

Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex i...

Books" - Snell smiled - "are a kind of magic.

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.

Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.

My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hat...

Before, I suspected I might not amount to anything, and now I now I won't, so at least it takes away...

Though his death would not fill me with any sense of sadness, I would probably feel the loss. Even e...

I wasn't particularly worried; running is overrated anyway, and sport only makes you sweaty and smug...

All of everything came into existence simply because it wanted to be. The big bang wasn't so much a ...

There are two schools of thought about the resilience of time. The first is that time is highly vola...

Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could loo...

The course of true love rarely runs smooth.

I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can't shuffle o...

The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully.

I am boring, but I'm ok with it. I'm the anchor, the shoulder...I'm an average man...with a truly ex...

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want m...

Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.

You’re talking about gold and silver, cash and securities. I’m talking about the sheer beauty of the...

Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners ...

So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an int...

Magic is the fifth fundamental force and is even more mysterious than gravity, which is really sayin...

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

I hope that in my books there's an undertone of politics, basic tenets of how we should live.

Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners

When she turned I could see her face was plain and outwardly unremarkable, yet possessing of a beari...

The only way to write is to write. Writers write. And when they’ve written, they write some more.

Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?

Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captur...

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly pa...

Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought...

Well, that's it." I said after we had waited for another five minutes and found ourselves still in a...

Truly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed -- you can see her potent...

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your...

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?

Inviting a goblin to cross your threshold was a recipe for disaster, and certainly worse than doing ...

What is without dispute...is that the readers need [the BookWorld] just as much as we need them—to b...

I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbea...

Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.

Literature is claimed to be a mirror of the world,” I said, “but the Outlanders are fooling themselv...

She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderl...

Vanity's contribution to Fiction in general was an abundance of cheap labour and the occasional bloc...

the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.

I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair ce...

Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this--in the pursuit of freedom, the innocent...

…although her mouth uttered fond words, her eyes spoke only venom.

Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

The best plans are always the simplest.

A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.

I don't need you to agree with me," she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt...

Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances.

And we kissed again. It was a warm, indescribably lovely feeling. But it was more than just physical...

There's more to good or bad than what's written in the Rulebook.

…the known had been so long dwarfed by the unknown that confusion was an easy bedfellow.

Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not nece...

You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?''Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was goi...

I'm beginning to think you're the sort of person who does a great deal with very little."He meant a ...

Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figur...

Curiosity is a descending stair…that leads to only who-knows-where.

Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevan...

7. 3. 12. 31. 208: Reckless disrespect of the lightless hours will not be tolerated.

I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small s...

The front room of his house was what I called 'untidy chic'. Prefects weren't subject to the same Ru...

Chromatacia…society…ruled by a colortocracy…social hierarchy based upon one's limited color percepti...

Another one of your quippy japes?

Rouge of my heart, intertwined with double-hued destiny,Thread of my thoughts, constant and rubicund...

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.

Keep your head down, Edward. Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp...

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash.

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anythi...

The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary require...

She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered...

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you...

History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bi...