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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

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Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

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Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

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Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

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I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come up to me today, 'Your father helped my mo...more