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Pearls are congealed oyster spit.

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He said, I won't have one of those things in the house. It gives a young girl a false notion of beauty, not to mention anatomy. If a real woman was bu...more

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I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills.

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How could I be sleeping with this particular man.... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste.

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It's all about sex and territory,which are what will finish us offin the long run.

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Falling in love, although it resulted in altered body chemistry and was therefore real, was a hormonally induced delusional state, according to him. I...more

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Nobody wanted to be sexless, but nobody wanted to be nothing but sex

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Sex is like a drink, it's bad to start brooding about it too early in the day.

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Even sex was no longer what it had once been, though he was still as addicted to it as ever. He felt jerked around by his own dick, as if the rest of ...more

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How much misery . . . how much needless despair has been caused by a series of biological mismatches, a misalignment of the hormones and pheromones? R...more

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Nobody wanted to be sexless, but nobody wanted to be nothing but sex.

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The male frog, in mating season," said Crake, "makes as much noise as it can. The females are attracted to the male frog with the biggest, deepest voi...more

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He was a dork, a dink, a dong… Why should the male member be used as a term of abuse? No man hated his own dorkdinkdong, quite the opposite. But maybe...more

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I'm not senile," I snapped. "If I burn the house down it will be on purpose.

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What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!