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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities wh...more

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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

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Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of t...more

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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.

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It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the pruden...more

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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it c...more

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Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.

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The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket ...more

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Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

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Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to...more

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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

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Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

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The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.