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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

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A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

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If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won't sit on a hot stove again. That cat won't sit on a cold stove either. That cat just don't like stoves.

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Now, then, that is the tale. Some of it is true.

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Ethical man - a Christian holding four aces.

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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

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The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, & to this day I cherish an unappeased bittern...more

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Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will correct these defects.

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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.

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If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks.

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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

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In your country and mine we should have the privilege of making fun of this kind of morality, but it would be unkind to do it here.Many of these peopl...more

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Adam is fading out. It is on account of Darwin and that crowd. I can see that he is not going to last much longer. There's a plenty of signs. He is ge...more

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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't ...more