"It was pitiful for a person born in a wholesome free atmosphere to listen to their humble and hearty outpourings of loyalty toward their king and Chur...

If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks.
~ Mark Twain ~












If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics whi...
Show MoreMore Mark Twain quotes
"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
"The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, & to this day I cherish an unappeased bittern...
"Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
"Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal t...
"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
"In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities wh...
"Adam is fading out. It is on account of Darwin and that crowd. I can see that he is not going to last much longer. There's a plenty of signs. He is ge...
"The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
"It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss abou...
"Heaven goes by favor if it went by merit you would stay out and your dog would go in.
"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the pr...
"It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me it's the parts that I do understand.
"Satan must have been pretty simple, even according to the New Testament, or he wouldn't have led Christ up on a high mountain and offered him the worl...
"Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.