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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

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The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it...more

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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

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On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere the trees go Ping!And the tea pots Jibber Jabber ...more

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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

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Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?

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With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

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R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

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The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.

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Some people live a nothing life: the most important thing they ever do is die. Thank God for eccentrics! Take Gunner Octavian Neat. He would suddenly ...more

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...Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted se...more

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After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

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Busty’ Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverte...more

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Author? Author? Did you write these legs?''Yes."'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.

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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.