Spike Milligan Quotes

When I get depressed, I try to get something for the terrible sadness that comes over me and create ...

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appre...

Author? Author? Did you write these legs?''Yes."'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at ...

Busty’ Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank ...

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

...Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of G...

Some people live a nothing life: the most important thing they ever do is die. Thank God for eccentr...

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a...

R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hop...

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare but then I thought Why should I? He never rea...

(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere...

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have...

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization suc...