"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just con...

Photo by Ákos Szabó

Photo by Ian Turnell










If God dropped acid, would he see people?
More Steven Wright quotes
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.