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Because the world all twisted up and wrong, like distorted glass, only came back into focus if you looked at it through the bottom of a bottle.

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His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousa...more

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He only drinks when he gets depressed,' said Carrot. 'Why does he get depressed?' 'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink.

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Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

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He wanted one drink, and understood precisely why he wasn't going to have one. One drink ended up arriving in a dozen glasses.

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Being an absolute ruler today was not as simple as people thought. At least, it was not simple if your ambitions included being an absolute ruler tomo...more

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If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.

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It was dawning on the wizards that they were outside the University, at night and without permission, for the first time in decades. A certain suppres...more

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Vimes had once discussed the Ephebian idea of ‘democracy’ with Carrot, and had been rather interested in the idea that everyone had a vote until he fo...more