Terry Pratchett Quotes

Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people o...

It was the kind of storm that suggests the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic.

The ideal death, I think, is what was the ideal Victorian death, you know, with your grandchildren a...

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it int...

If it wasn't for the fun and money, I really don't know why I'd bother.

It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of It...

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance...

When you break rules, break 'em good and hard

Seven hundred thousand people who have dementia in this country are not heard. I'm fortunate; I can ...

If women were as good as men they'd be a lot better!

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much r...

(...) perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake t...

Because the world all twisted up and wrong, like distorted glass, only came back into focus if you l...

[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors ...

Granny Weatherwax had a primal snore. It had never been tamed. No one had ever had to sleep next to ...

The baby boomers are getting older, and will stay older for longer. And they will run right into the...

Just for a moment there was an unusual feeling of bliss. Strange word, he thought. It's one of those...

It took place in the midnight in the University's Great Hall, in a welter of incense, candlesticks, ...

We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it.

Daphne’s thought in Nation: This was no time to go totally mad. You had to maintain standards.

I've always felt that what I have going for me is not my imagination, because everyone has an imagin...

BUT MOST PEOPLE ARE RATHER STUPID AND WASTE THEIR LIVES. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT? HAVE YOU NOT LOOKED...

To Tiffany's surprise, Nanny Ogg was weeping gently. Nanny took another swig from her flagon and wip...

Drought-struck farmers pray for rain, in the express hope that the universe or owner thereof will he...

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in,...

I get depressed with these fluffy dragons and noble elves. Elves were never noble. They were cruel b...

Heroes get kingdoms and princesses, and they take regular exercise, and when they smile the light gl...

Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mu...

Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get.

For her next birthday she'd asked for a telescope. Her mother had been alive then, and had suggested...

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot'What, in Ankh-Morpork?’Yes, sir.’‘We s...

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. ...

Cats do not hunt seals. They would hunt them if they knew what seals and where to find them. But the...

All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.

His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon da...

It's rude to stare," said the troll. Its mouth opened with a little crest of foam, and shut again in...

- "Surely you have considered terrorist activity?"There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, ...

Where there is personality, there is discord.

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, ...

He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was b...

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, ...

He only drinks when he gets depressed,' said Carrot. 'Why does he get depressed?' 'Sometimes it's be...

There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises.

I really should talk to him. He's had a near-death experience!”"We all have. It's called living."(Ho...

You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?

The first question they ask is: "Why was he eternally surprised?"And they were told: "Wen considered...

The land around Ankh-Morpork is fertile and largely given over to the cabbage fields that help to gi...

Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice."There's naebody ...

Humans need fantasy to be human.

Lord Vetinari in a meeting: “what people said was what they wanted him to hear. He paid a lot of att...

The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always...

...Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mount...

I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal any...

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.

Fantasy imposes order on the universe. Or, at least, it superimposes order on the universe. And it i...

If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.

Ye know full well that the meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness. Nev...

Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom.

The neck in front of her came up. The head swivelled 180 degrees and the horse looked at Kin with br...

Freedom without limits is just a word.

A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand...

Quite amazing, isn’t it, Mister Lipwig?’ he said cheerfully through the smoke. ‘Though isn’t it a pi...

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods they have not forgotten this.

There is a soak-the-rich attitude in the air, a feeling that if you have a lot of money you must hav...

By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is ...

Amazin'.' he said again. 'He just looks as though he's thinking, right?''Er...yes.''But he's not act...

Cats, Dog considered, were clearly a lot tougher than lost souls

Er, excuse me,' said the man as Nanny Ogg turned away, 'but what is that on your shoulders?''It's. ....

The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly ...

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enoug...

Too much alleged ‘fantasy’ is just empty sugar, life with the crusts cut off.

It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Al...

I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no phil...

It’s still magic even if you know how it’s done.

Of course, to be fair, that was a parent's job. The world was so full of sharp bends that if they di...

He was stupid, yes, in the particular way that very clever people can be stupid.

It's political, sir. Apparently he wants a return to the values and traditions that made the city gr...

IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

What is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons?

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you...

Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad.

Rincewind stared, and knew that there were far worse things than Evil. All the demons in Hell would ...

Wanna see how creepy I can be?"-Mr Teatime

Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess ha...

And now the birds were singing overhead, and there was a soft rustling in the undergrowth, and all t...

Anyone with half a mind could see that," said Tiffany.Miss Tick sighed. "Yes. But sometimes it's so ...

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's cal...

Anger is wonderful. It keeps you going. I'm angry about bankers. About the government.

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcoho...

Current theories on the creation of the Universe state that, if it were created at all and didn't ju...

Luck came to those who left a space for it.

In my heart, I'm just a kid from the council houses. I can remember the old cottage and my dad comin...

He wasn't sure he liked everything that was happening, but a lot of it was "cultural," apparently, a...

The wizards were civilized men of considerable education and culture. When faced with being inadvert...

Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a ...

The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths,...