Jonathan Swift Quotes

Tis an old maxim in the schools That flattery's the food of fools - Yet now and then your men of wi...

As learnèd commentators viewIn Homer more than Homer knew.

He likewise directed, “that every senator in the great council of a nation, after he had delivered h...

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of our affairs during the last cent...

Judges... are picked out from the most dextrous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy, and having been ...

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with deat...

The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver's watch may be his god, because it is that which, he adm...

I replied that England (the dear place of my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quant...

And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, t...

take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence,...

Here commences a new dominion acquired with a title by divine right.   Ships are sent with the first...

But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and...

He put this engine [a silver pocket watch] into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that o...

Gulliver describes a royal personage inspiring awe among the tiny Lilliputians because he was taller...

These reasonings will furnish us with an adequate definition of a true critic: that he is a discover...

There are certain common privileges of a writer, the benefit whereof Ihope there will be no reason t...

I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; an...

Books, the children of the brain.

For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, the flesh being of too tender a consistence to...

We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, witho...

When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign that the dunces are all in co...

Promise and pie-crust are made to be broken.

The first springs of great events like those of great rivers are often mean and little.

When I am reading a book whether wise or silly it seems to me to be alive and talking to me.

Very few men properly speaking live at present but are providing to live another time.

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from...

That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees ...

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that th...

When men grow virtuous in their old age they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.

I know Sir John will go though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy ch...

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork.

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.

Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.

Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together Let none but Him who rules t...

I always love to begin a journey on Sundays because I shall have the prayers of the church to prese...

Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest ...

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth,...

They say fingers were made before forks and hands before knives.

Every dog must have his day.

May you live all the days of your life.

Zsa Zsa Gabor when asked which of the Gabor women was the oldest said "She'll never admit it but ...

When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less sc...

Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her ...

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the ...

Complaint is the largest tribute Heaven receives.

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong which is but saying ... that he ...

Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest ...

Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

Dignity high station or great riches are in some sort necessary to old men in order to keep the y...

Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind.

Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength....

We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.

Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.

There's none so blind as they that won't see.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms I will no more believe than that th...

If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time.

111 company is like a dog who dirts those most whom he loves best.

When the world has once begun to use us ill it afterwards continues the same treatment with less sc...

When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy ...

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires is like cutting off our feet wh...

Most sorts of diversion in men children and other animals are in imitation of fighting.

Yet, Malice never was his Aim;He lash'd the Vice but spar'd the Name. No individual could resent,Whe...

Usually speaking the worst-bred person in company is a young traveller just returned from abroad.

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.

There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.

I heard the little bird say so.

When the world has once begun to use us ill and afterwards continues the same treatment with less s...

I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.

Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent.

An excuse is a lie guarded.

Brutes find out where their talents lie a bear will not attempt to fly.

Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want.

Coffee makes us severe, and grave and philosophical.

May you live every day of your life.

Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too...

There was all the world and his wife.

And he gave it for his opinion that whoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to...

What some invent the rest enlarge.

He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to war with another?" I...

She looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

Proper words in proper places make the true definition of a style.

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.

What some invent the rest enlarge.

Possession they say is eleven points of the law.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions.