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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

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In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

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If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

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Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

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HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

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CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himse...more

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Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Nap...more

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We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

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I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

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I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

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Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.