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HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

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CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himse...more

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They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.""Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’...more

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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

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I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

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To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

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CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and s...more

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If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

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CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

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HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

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If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

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Reality continues to ruin my life.

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Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional blea...more

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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!