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In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, havi...more

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The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. The shortcut to closing a door is to bury yourself in the details. This is ...more

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Because supposedly those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.

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The truth is, immigrants tend to be more American than people born here.

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Maybe the truth is I really want to like you instead.

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some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems.

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It's exhausting, the energy it takes to unknow a truth.

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There are worse things you can do to people you love than kill them.

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The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate....more

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Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listenin...more

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Honest is how I want to look. The truth doesn't glitter and shine.

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You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe until the event. Until it's too late. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off and ...more

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You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe you until the event. Until it's too late. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off ...more