"

If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.

"

Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't...more

"

Tea? At the beach? No time for luxuries, Holly. There is important work to be done.” He winked at Butler.“Are you sure you’re at the library? I though...more

"

Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."Myles: "In Paris."Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you c...more

"

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.-Artemis Fowl

"

Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.

"

All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.

"

He had seen bigger men than he with mummy's handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in the other.

"

Toadstool mandarins are a form of toxic jellyfish whose tentacles are loaded with entheogenic venom. The effects of a mandarin sting are threefold. Th...more

"

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

"

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

"

A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.

"

I don't like lollipops.

"

Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.

"

We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.