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I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.

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A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.

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Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

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While browsing in a second-hand bookshop one day, George Bernard Shaw was amused to find a copy of one of his own works which he himself had inscribed...more

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The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

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We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

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A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

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If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

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He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

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There's only one way of escaping trouble; and that's killing things." Henry Higgins, Act V, Pygmalion