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Stupid English.""English isn't stupid," I say."Well, my English teacher is." He makes a face. "Mr. Franklin assigned an essay about our favorite subje...more

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[Jules] slides into a seat beside me with her hot lunch tray, sighing. “Four hours, thirty-six minutes, and twelve seconds till we’re out of purgatory...more

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[I] don't think I was trying to kill myself. I just wanted to hurt, and understand exactly whay I was hurting. This made sense: you cut, you felt pain...more

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Objection!" Metz shouts.Grounds?" the judge asks.Well...he's my witness!

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When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires

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You'd be surprised." Charlie said."You go to bed one night singing her a lullaby, and she wakes up listening to Limp Bizkit.""What the hell is Limp Bi...more

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If I tell you another seven hundred times, maybe one of these days you might turn your clothes right side out when you put them in the hamper, eh?

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I've got a Don Baylor," J.T. said."California sucks this year."Ralph snickered. "I wouldn't use a Baylor card to scrape dog shit off the street.

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So what do you think the physical effect was?"Roman Laughed. "Buddy," he said, "she was tripping.

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Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.

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Babies don't come with instruction booklets. You'd learn the same way we all do -- you'd read up on dinosaurs, you'd Google backhoes and skidders. And...more

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Did you ever think our misfortune is directly related to your good fortune? Maybe the house your parents bought was on the market because the sellers ...more

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True confession: The reason we don't talk about race is because we do not speak a common language.

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What if, ladies and gentlemen, today I told you that anyone here who was born on a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday was free to leave right now? Also, th...more

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Skin color doesn't make you different," Melody said. "We're all the same on the inside."The only people who ever say that," Raymond replied, "are whit...more