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A dog has got human eyes.

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I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

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There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on ab...more

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The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.

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I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.

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I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

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It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some a...more

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I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscuit with some really sweet, milky tea. Not the way ...more

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I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have ove...more

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The problem is, these days you have to listen to too many parts of your body. Sometimes I go with my gut feeling, some say go with what your heart say...more

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Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

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They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid...more

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I could eat a knob at night.