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I’d heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn’t think it meant the creatures that lived on the street.

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A dog has got human eyes.

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I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

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There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on ab...more

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I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.

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I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

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I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscuit with some really sweet, milky tea. Not the way ...more

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I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have ove...more

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Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

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They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid...more

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I could eat a knob at night.