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What Hamlet suffers from is a lack of zombies. Let us say Rosencrantz and Guildenstern show up—Ho-HO! Now you’ve got something that stirs the, um, som...more

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I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.

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Oh, I didn't think it wise to hide it. Might not be able to find it again," I say, cheerily. "It's sitting in plain view on your chair in the great ha...more

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I will never, ever drink whiskey again. From now on, it's strictly sherry.

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Sometimes I just want to go in a room and break things and scream. Like, it’s so much pressure all the time and if you get upset or angry, people say,...more

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...There's an -or- in -whore- because you always have a choice to respect your body and say no.

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You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.

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So I slap on that smile and pretend everything’s okay even though it’s not.

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...I think we should find some kind of shelter; a cave or something.""I don't want to do that! What if there's like, a creature living in the cave?" T...more

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I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.

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I’m a wild girl from a cursed line of women. I paw at the ground and run under the moon. I like the feel of my own body. I’m not a slut or a nympho or...more

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A man bumps me on his busy way without so much as an apology. But that is all right. I forgive you, busy man about town with the sharp elbows. Hail an...more

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I understand we'll be attending your friend Miss Worthington's Christmas ball. Perhaps I'll find a suitable-- which is to say wealthy-- wife among the...more

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Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were fascinating relics from an archaeological dig. I ...more

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Could I have a Sloe Gin Fizz, without the gin?""What's the point of that, Miss?" the waiter said."Tomorrow morning," Mabel said.