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What Hamlet suffers from is a lack of zombies. Let us say Rosencrantz and Guildenstern show up—Ho-HO! Now you’ve got something that stirs the, um, som...more

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I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin.

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I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.

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As a journalist, I am compelled to know the answers.""As a girl, I am compelled to protect what's left of my manicure," Petra said.

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No one asks how or what I am doing. They could not care less. We’re all looking glasses, we girls, existing only to reflect their images back to them ...more

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Oh, I didn't think it wise to hide it. Might not be able to find it again," I say, cheerily. "It's sitting in plain view on your chair in the great ha...more

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I will never, ever drink whiskey again. From now on, it's strictly sherry.

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I know because I read. Might I suggest you try it?

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Agent Jones held Sinjin’s face in his hands. “I’m going to make balloon animals. People need balloon animals.”“How right you are, strange delusional m...more

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Sometimes I just want to go in a room and break things and scream. Like, it’s so much pressure all the time and if you get upset or angry, people say,...more

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New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period.Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes andin your pants.

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...There's an -or- in -whore- because you always have a choice to respect your body and say no.

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You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.

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What kind of person doesn't let you have gummi bears?

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Because 'You're perfect just the way you are,' is what your guidance counselor says. And she's an alcoholic.