"This explains why, whenever a person says sie to me, I generally try to kill him, if a stranger.
Loose and forbear!
More Mark Twain quotes
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
"A dog is der Hund the dog; a women is die Frau the wom[an]; a horse is das Pferd, the horse; now you put that dog in the Genitive case, & is he the sa...
"The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
"Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of t...
"The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me wi...
"A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
"I know grammar by ear only, not by note, not by the rules.
"Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
"Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.
"The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket ...
"Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
"But that is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.
"It was a dreadful thing to see. Humans beings can be awful cruel to one another.
"The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet...