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Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.

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Well?" said Loki. "What about you, Heimdall? Do you have any suggestions?""I do," said Heimdall. "But you won't like it."Thor banged his fist down upo...more

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My people, we stay indoors. We have keyboards. We have darkness.

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I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who in Hamlet jokes, so this is just me getting it out...more

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The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.

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Fuck you," said Czernobog. "Fuck you and fuck your mother and fuck the fucking horse you fucking rode in on. You will not even die in battle. No warri...more

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You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the water hole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the sharpest claws, and two front teeth as long...more

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Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are." The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright e...more

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This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory.

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He was cold, standing in a wood, talking to a big black bird who was currently brunching on Bambi.

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I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what I know.

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He was having more fun than a barrelful of monkeys.**Several years earlier Spider had actually been tremendously disappointed by a barrelful of monkey...more

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Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.

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Fat Charlie wondered what Rosie's mother would usually hear in a church. Probably just cries of "Back! Foul best of Hell!" followed by gasps of "Is it...more

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Right," said Fat Charlie conversationally. "You realize, of course, that this means war." It was the traditional war cry of a rabbit when pushed too f...more