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If God wanted us to get high, he'd have created plants that became psychoactive when eaten or smoked.

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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them or...more

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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everythi...more

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Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my p...more

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Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...i...more

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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Ira...more

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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.

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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers ...more

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If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.

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Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

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Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married. How is...more

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The Crusaders lead to the Knights Templar; the Knights Templar lead to the Masons; and the Masons lead to the Shriners, a secret society that controls...more

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According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a family is defined as two or more people living together who are related by birth, marriage or adoption. In othe...more

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That's not a religion, that's Pokemon.

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Religion forces every individual to take responsibility. Specifically, take it away from yourself and give it to God. If we had to be accountable for ...more