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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

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To make money buy some good stock hold it until it goes up and then sell it. If it doesn't go up don't buy it.

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If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anythi...more

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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like.

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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

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Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

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A fool and his money are soon elected.