Will Rogers Quotes

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depress...

A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it wor...

Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over.

You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has ...

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional ...

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man if you get off the thing that he was educated in.

Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

The more you read about politics the more you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a ta...

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, ...

Politics is applesauce.

If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out.

Everybody is ignorant, Just on different subjects.

Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up then sell i...

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplo...

So get a few laughs and do the best you can.

Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects.

To make money buy some good stock hold it until it goes up and then sell it. If it doesn't go up ...

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation. The ...

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

There ain't nothing but one thing wrong with every one of us and that's selfishness.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a...

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

One revolution is like one cocktail it just gets you organized for the next.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up...

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done and leave out the bad things you did do - ...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an elec...

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Even if you're on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every mor...

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

AH I know is what I see in the papers.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble it's what we know that ain't so.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they...

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their...

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have pai...

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If stupidity got us into this, why can't stupidity get us out?

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't ...

you can't say civilization dont advance, in every war they kill you in a new way

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

We are all here for a spell get all the good laughs you can.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell i...

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising ...

This thing of being a hero about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for...

I'm not a member of any organized party I'm a Democrat.