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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

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Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in ...more

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To make money buy some good stock hold it until it goes up and then sell it. If it doesn't go up don't buy it.

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You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anythi...more

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It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

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The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

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You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like.

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The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.