Penn Jillette Quotes

Whereas you have someone like Houdini, who works really, really hard to get really, really famous, a...

I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage...

It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money i...

Nobody that has seen a baby born can believe in god for a second. When you see your child born, and ...

What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe somet...

When I was a kid, politicians wanted to avoid talking about religion if they could. John F. Kennedy ...

The only difference between Obama and Bush is that Obama is killing more people. He’s about double t...

A lot of people, to attack an outspoken atheist, one of the things they'll do is say, 'You are as ba...

Computers absolutely changed my life. Before I had a computer, I had never written one thing. Not on...

Has any non-dipshit man ever used the word "ladies" not followed by the word "room"?

I'm always fascinated by the use of the first-person plural talking about sports.

We are only here for a little while, and our bodies belong to ourselves and no one else.

I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I wa...

[On hearing that 86% of gay teens have experienced harassment] Eighty-six percent? Eighty-six per-fu...

I think people under age 55 come to Vegas with a certain sense of irony.

In any conflict, the crazier party generally wins.

We need a president who realizes that there's no government business in show business.

If there's something you really want to believe, that's what you should question the most.

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.

Counterintuitive actions prove we can trust real knowledge and do the opposite of what we feel makes...

Technology adds nothing to art.

You don’t have to be brave or a saint, a martyr, or even very smart to be an atheist. All you have t...

Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality. Morality is no...

Direct confrontation, direct conversation is real respect. And it's amazing how many people get that...

For the most part, any serious magic show is not using very much technology newer than theatrical li...

My mom, if you asked her if she was interested in whether or not people gambled, would say no.

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.

The highest ideals are human intelligence, creativity and love. Respect these above all.

I don't want anyone as president who promises to take care of me. I may be stupid, but I want a chan...

My body really, really wanted to reproduce when I was 15. It took a lot of civilization, socializati...

My whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfe...

I will not counter the insanity of the PATRIOT Act with an overblown fear of my rights being taken a...

Love and respect all people. Hate and destroy all faith.

Once you've condoned faith in general, you've condoned any crazy shit done because of faith.

If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be c...

It's not arrogant to say that you can't figure out the answers to the universe with your internal fa...

To drive a car in rural America is freedom. Before I had a car, I'd never seen a rock and roll show,...

My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every c...

Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basic...

My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things lo...

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm...

As I’m fond of saying, if you want to find utopia, take a sharp right on money and a sharp left on s...

Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, a...

Cars mean nothing to me. I'm not a car guy.

I'm an amazing mama's boy.

Technology adds nothing to art. Two thousand years ago, I could tell you a story, and at any point d...

But [he] had lost god, and all his family and friends were staying behind with his imaginary friend....

Astrology is a cousin of racism.

This is going to sound horrible, but I don't even know how much I make in a year. It must be, you kn...

I'm a hardcore libertarian - I want everything legal - but I also believe that you have the right to...