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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong'.Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

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I'm dying and all I hear are insults!

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Well, I can understand how you feel. You worked hard, studying for the spelling bee, and I suppose you feel you let everyone down, and you made a fool...more

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Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

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What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

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In the Book of Life, The answers aren't in the back.

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Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

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Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

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Happiness is a warm puppy.

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Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

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I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

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Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.

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Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

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Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.