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I love mankind it's people I can't stand.

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

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What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

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I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.

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Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the ...more

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Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

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Happiness is a warm puppy.

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I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.

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I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

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Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.

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Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

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Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

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I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

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I don't think God wants to be worshiped. I think the only pure worship of God is by loving one another, and I think all other forms of worship became ...more