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What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

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I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.

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Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

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Happiness is a warm puppy.

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Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

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I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

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Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.

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Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

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Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

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I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

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Those who find no humor in faith are probably those who find the church a refuge for their own black way of looking at life, although I think many of ...more

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Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.

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Happiness does not create humor. There's nothing funny about being happy. Sadness creates humor. Krazy Kat getting hit on the head by a brick from Ign...more