"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anywa...

Photo by Ákos Szabó

Photo by Ian Turnell










Never lend your car to someone you've given birth to.
More Erma Bombeck quotes
"I read one psychologist's theory that said "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When ...
"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
"Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put "I love Mom" on the license plate.
"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the sp...
"When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're do...