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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows

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All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

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Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.

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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.

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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anywa...more

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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

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We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

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Never have more children than you have car windows.

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When humor goes, there goes civilization.

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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

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Housework can kill you if done right.

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Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.