"

You're only as good as your last haircut.

"

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

"

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

"

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

"

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.